Controversial figure: Katie Price has had yet another boob job
Katie Price has treated her body as a laboratory, a playground and ATM machine combined.
A pair of breasts has not been as much part of the national fabric since wartime comic-strip heroine Jane got her kit off.
Like hemlines can predict national mood – short in good times, longer in bad – it is tempting to try to link the cup-size of The Artist Also Known as Jordan with the National Debt.
But she lives in a world of her own making and all that her reincarnations have in common – the flat-chested teenager, the WAG with Love Rat footballers, the jungle queen finding her prince Peter Andre, the hard-faced hell-cat dealing with divorce – is that their puppet-master was Katie Price.
Katie Price on Halloween
I like Bad Jordan best, the one of whom Peter Andre said: “If she’s been drinking, I know she’s capable of anything.”
The latest model, dark of hair and decreased of decolletage, says she did it to be taken more seriously. But why swap a shocking pink life-writ-large for a tasteful beige existence?
So long as her bank manager takes her seriously, that’s all she needs.
Jordan’s very grasp of life’s harsh realities (“I’m the one making the money, Pete – I can have it how I want!” went the TV row which heralded their split) brings a shocking and refreshing level of honesty to showbusiness.
She is both Dr Frankenstein and his Monster, Teen Temptress turned Mother Courage, and there is something splendid about her refusal to be shamed.
Tycoon or tyrant, victim or victor, boom or bust, long may this remarkable woman continue to add to the gaiety of the nation.